No Shifts This Week

from by Captain Cake

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The 10th Track from Captain Cake's Debut Album: THE CAKE ZONE

lyrics

Well, I've been laid off and I’m down on my luck
‘Cos unemployment is high and the job market’s fucked
And I need to feed my imaginary kids
So I got a job in a bar doing night shift
Now I’m moving the kegs and re-stocking the fridge
With beers, barely making enough money to live
I’ve got big dreams and goals but my boss doesn’t care
All he says to me is “no mate, it goes over there”
Now the new roster’s out but my name’s not on it
So I texted my boss and asked “what’s going on?”
He said:

NO NO NO NO NO NO SHIFTS THIS WEEK! x2

No shifts, I thought. Hmmm. That’s not a lot.
It’s quite a few less than I’ve usually got
Maybe my job’s been taken by a robot
Maybe I’ll have a shift next week but probably not
I stop and think: should I go to Centrelink?
Or just go to the pub to drink with my mate Matty Fink?
Does my resume stink? Should I go see a shrink?
Should I apply for a job at the ice skating rink?
Should I become the next Ernest Hemingway?
Or should I just shrug and say “well, anyway”?
I’ve got

NO NO NO NO NO NO SHIFTS THIS WEEK! x2

Well, things were going fine until I got laid off
And I spent my life savings on a talking toothbrush
With the voice of Kevin Spacey
And you can call it crazy
But I had to buy the toothbrush ‘cos his acting skills amaze me
Hospitality is not the industry for me
I think you’ll all agree that I’m as clumsy as can be
And my customer service makes the customer nervous
As they wonder to themselves what they did to deserve this
So I went to see a psychiatrist
And the psychiatrist told me to have more sex

NO NO NO NO NO NO SEX THIS WEEK!
NO NO NO NO NO NO SHIFTS THIS WEEK! x3

credits

from The Cake Zone, released March 10, 2017
Lyrics - Captain Cake
Vocals - Captain Cake
Laptop - Captain Cake

Produced - 5Y/OWithoutSupervision
Mixed - 5Y/OWithoutSupervision

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Captain Cake Brisbane, Australia

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