Tony's Clothes

from by Captain Cake

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The 8thTrack from Captain Cake's Debut Album: THE CAKE ZONE

lyrics

Tony's clothes:
Tony's clothes
Tony's clothes
Tony's clothes
Tony's clothes

This story unfolds when I was ten years olds
Living in Victoria where it was often cold
But after weeks of rain the summer came
I felt so free, I could swim again
One Saturday afternoon we went to a family BBQ
In the rustic charm of uncle Tony's farm
I never thought I would come to harm
But sometimes fate plays tricks on you
Although I was being a bit of a dick, it's true
I was acting quite the fool
Running fully clothed around the swimming pool
And my dad said calm down, just-just calm down or you'll fall in the bloody pool
And you'll be going home in Tony's clothes
And son, I'm telling you

You don't wanna go home
In Tony's clothes
In Tony's silly, silly clothes
No, you don't wanna go home
In Tony's clothes
In Tony's silly, silly clothes

I laughed, thinking that would never happen to me
I mean, it's the type of shit you see on TV
But fate sure showed me cos I slipped and fell
Into the pool with a splash from hell (ah)
And my dad said "oh bloody hell"
And I thought he was going to yell
But he just told me to get inside
So I took a shower and got washed and dried
And I could've sworn that Tony was filled with glee
When he said he'd choose some clothes for me
A pair of moldy old grey socks
And some brightly coloured purple crocs (what?)
Baggy pants with a hole in the bum
A shirt that says "help, I want my mum"
It was all too large or too small
And I wasn't happy at all

I didn't wanna go home
In Tony's clothes
In Tony's silly, silly clothes
No, I didn't wanna go home
In Tony's clothes
In Tony's silly, silly clothes
I never wanted to go home
In Tony's clothes
In Tony's silly, silly clothes
But I went home
In Tony's clothes
In Tony's silly, silly, completely ludicrous, absolutely ridiculous clothes

This is a cautionary tale
Don't fall in the bloody pool or you'll be going home in Tony's clothes
It doesn't matter if it's a pool in Brisbane
Or a pool in Victoria
Or a pool in freaking Brazil or wherever
Wherever you happen to be Tony will inevitably pop up with a variety of choice options from his astonishingly ridiculous wardrobe
There's no escape
You can even fall in your own pool
In your own stinking backyard
And before you've even trudged up your own back doorsteps
Tony will appear with this portable wardrobe
Full of clothes for you to wear
It doesn't matter what your personal style is
Or what your gender identity is
There, Tony will be with his portable wardrobe
You can't fight it, it's as inevitable as gravity
And I don't mean to offend you if your name happens to be Tony
I'm not trying to imply that you have bad fashion sense
I'm not talking about Tony Abbot either
Even though he does have bad fashion sense
I'm just talking about this one very particular guy whose name happens to be Tony
You don't know him but he knows you
And he's been watching you
And he follows you on Instagram
And he's waiting for you
And he'll always, always, always be waiting for you
Always, always, always be waiting for you
He'll always, always, always be waiting for you
Always, always, always be waiting for you

Until you go home
In Tony's clothes
In Tony's silly, silly clothes
That'll happen soon

credits

from The Cake Zone, released March 10, 2017
Lyrics - Captain Cake
Vocals - Captain Cake
Laptop - Captain Cake
Synth - 5Y/OWithoutSupervision
SFX - 5Y/OWithoutSupervision
Produced - 5Y/OWithoutSupervision
Mixed - 5Y/OWithoutSupervision

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